dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
