Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
