I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize