the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Enjoy the penises
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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