Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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