Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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