Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why do cheetos always look like penises
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
