Your tits are I can't wait for
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
the condom got lost in my hair
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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