yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
