Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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