D3 body, D1 cock
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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