I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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