I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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