I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
