Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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