I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
