I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
