I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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