God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
