Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
