just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize