i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
