You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
