I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
