Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
