I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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