So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
