I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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