i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
