a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
