so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
