my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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