Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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