Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
