I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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