when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
