it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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