Yo dont text me then not text me
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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