the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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