dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
