Yo dont text me then not text me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
