I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
