that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
