Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
