Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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