White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We are two peas in an std pod
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
