I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
