idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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