Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
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