You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
