Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we made out on top of his cat.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
