just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
