fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
