he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
