i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
