let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize