And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
