It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
and she was petting her beer can
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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