nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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