The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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