FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
the room spins SO much faster in panama
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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