she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
