It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
