Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
In America we eat man semen.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
